but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize