Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
