chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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