everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize