I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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