feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think i have two assholes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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