I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
