Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.

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(301): View more from Maryland

My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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(914): View more from New York

Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(203): View more from Connecticut

well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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(716): View more from New York

i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.

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(251): View more from Alabama

So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.

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