Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize