You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize