Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize