Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
