I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
