Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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