Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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