I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
