I can tuck mytits in my pants
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
