Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
