A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
