I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
