Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
