last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
