I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize