Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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