talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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