They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
