why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
