If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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