I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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