i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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