Welp...herpes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
