im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
