Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
