thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
