What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
