awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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