Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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