I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
