Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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