i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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