I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
