Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize