yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Im part way to drunk.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
