even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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