i would punch a child for taco bell
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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