i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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