Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
