ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
