you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
