the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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