and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
