It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
