farters have to be the big spoon...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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