the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
