In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He has the fingertips of a God
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