i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize