I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
