I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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