Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
